why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
