"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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