evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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