So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
