There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
