you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
