Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
