HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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