dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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