i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
