dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
