Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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