shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
