he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
