my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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