If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
