took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
