i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
