Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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