i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
