We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I think my fart just growled at me.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize