Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Randomize
