i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
