The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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