i think my mom watched the whole time
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
