HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
