And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
