she was so not down for the gang bang
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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