I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
