I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
