and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
