I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize