I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Randomize
