Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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