I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
