He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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