it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize