I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
