You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
