is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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