waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Dick very happy bro
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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