she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
