It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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