AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Randomize
