I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
