It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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