I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize