Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
