Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize