so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
ok first of all what the fuck
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
