Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I can't turn off my feet"
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
