her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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