i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
