You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
