Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize