he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
