Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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