and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
