No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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