hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
